We’re just getting started.
This letter will tell you what we’re up to 🙂
Dear Fellow Parent,
We just want you to have more joy in your family.
Joy is the opposite of misery… and misery is our arch enemy.
Misery comes when we live contrary to natural laws… especially ones we know we should be living.
Ever tripped and fell?
In 2003, while living in Clancy, MT, one of my (Joshua’s) best friends, Randl, showed up at meeting. His face was double normal size. His eye was practically swollen shut. His cheek scratched up, stitched up, and purple.
He got crossways with a patch of ice and went down… hard. That little slip cost him a few stitches and about 5 weeks of pain and misery.
A Universe of Cause and Effect
Family life is tough. Toughest job in the world, right there.
Because of that, it’s also the most rewarding job in the world.
Nothing – not no thing, not no how, not no where – compares with the joy that comes from being part of a great family. When parents see their children doing amazing things it eclipses any other joy or thrill or rush they’ve ever felt.
On Oct 17, 2016, in the lovely town of La Jolla, CA, Margie and I were attending a private VIP dinner with some super successful people. Most of them worth many millions and had credentials as long as my Uncle Vaughn’s arm (he was 7’2”! … true story).
We got talking to this gal who had built a number of companies, been the CEO of a top Fortune 500 company, been on a zillion boards, help fund a bunch of worthy causes, and all kinds of other worthy, cool stuff.
She married in her mid-30’s and had her first child when she was almost 40 years old. With tears in her eyes she told us of the joy she felt holding her little daughter.
“It was more powerful than anything I’d ever felt before. Why did I wait so long?”
Of course, that does not diminish any of the great things she did before… that stuff rocked. But it’s something Margie and I hear all the time. The joy that comes from a great family is distinct and beyond description. Nothing like it. Nothing compares.
Of course, the opposite is true too… The pain and heartache and misery from a broken family is like no other.
Here’s the good news… and this is what our Endless Family Joy project is all about…
Joy in family life is predictable and simple to obtain and retain.
That’s because we live in a world of cause and effect. (ie… Hit the ice crossways and you’ll go down hard. Keep your feet steady and you live to enjoy another day.)
Live the laws of joy in your family and tah-dah, you’ve got joy.
Humans Can Be Unpredictable… Human Nature Never Changes
Because we live in a universe of cause and effect, human nature never really changes.
That means once you understand how people work, you can build an amazing family.
And, you’re already doing it, right? For the most part, parents naturally do a great job. I bet you’re super proud of your family, your children and what they’ve done, yes?… I mean for the most part… right?
Are there things you could improve on?
Margie and I think there is always room for more joy.
And there’s no serious “point of diminishing returns” in family life. The more you put in, the more natural family joy laws you honor, the more joy you can have.
We shun mediocrity in family life. Why? Because every ounce of mediocrity, eventually leads to misery… and misery is our enemy.
“Paper Parenting Experts” Aren’t Doing Your Family Any Favors
We want to go on a grand adventure with you. It’s a journey through family life that seeks joy and shuns misery.
As the parents of 11 children, we have worked really hard to discover what brings joy. We’ve interviewed hundreds of other parents, taken over 25 years of notes, studied religion, marketing, business development, psychology, biology, nursing, motivation, and nutrition.
Our home has been the laboratory and we have been the test subjects.
I once had a client – DC Bonta – that taught people how to trade on the Forex market (that’s currency trading… crazy, high-stakes, fast, high-risk investing stuff). In doing my research for his projects, I saw that all the other Forex companies out there encouraged people to get a “paper account” – ie an account that uses real market numbers, but with fake money. The idea is to test yourself without going broke.
I asked him why he didn’t allow any of his students to use “paper accounts”. He was hysterically against them.
“Because when you’re dealing with fake money, you don’t have a vested interest. Your emotions are not involved. But real investing isn’t like that. It’s intense. It’s powerfully emotional. Lots of fear. Lots of doubt. Lots of greed. With real money you get serious. You learn to control your emotions or die. Nothing teaches you faster than the real thing.”
Point well taken.
When Margie and I were first married, we wanted to learn more about parenting. I came from a broken home filled with drama and abuse and drugs and crazy stuff. I had no idea what I was doing as a spouse or father.
So we read a bunch of books and listened to a bunch of experts with fancy-pants titles. Their stuff sounded OK… but something felt off.
Upon deeper study, we discovered that just about none of these so called “experts” even had children… and even more of them were divorced!
They were trading with “paper accounts”. Nice, but not nearly good enough for the real world… and certainly not good enough for our family.
(Sure, sure… some of it might be good, but being kinda protective of our children, Margie and I pretty much shunned the idea of learning from them… not them… likely nice enough people…)
Margie and I are passionate about family joy. With 11 children, we haven’t been… and still aren’t… paper trading.
Our future, our dreams, our joys, our children and grandchildren – basically everything we hold precious – are on the line here. We wake up everyday devoted to giving it our all and getting it right.
A Simplified Model for Serious Family Joy
Ever heard of Occam’s Razor? It’s this cool idea in science that basically states, “All things being equal, the simplest solution is the right one.”
(For any geeks out there, this is the actual definition: “Among competing hypotheses, the one with the fewest assumptions should be selected.”)
Margie and I kept hearing things like…
“Every child is different and you just never know what they will do.”
“Let’s face it… parent’s don’t really have that much influence on their children.”
“I woke up one day, my child turned 13 and suddenly became a monster. I have no idea how this happened.”
It just didn’t make sense to us.
How could the core structure of life and society – the family – be so complicated that no one could figure it out?
How could the primary teachers of all mankind – parents – be inept and useless?
How could children instantly change from cute little kids in their toddler and pre-teen years to raging, rebellious, mysterious monsters overnight?
Just so you know, we reject those ideas.
We discovered that parents can both figure out children and have an astonishing amount of influence on them. We also discovered that nothing “mysterious” or “suddenly” or “magically” happens in family life. We live in a universe of cause and effect. There are reasons for everything.
Margie and I readily confess that we don’t know EVERYTHING, but we have figured out that achieving endless (or close to it) joy in a family is as simple as honoring four fundamental laws of nature.
Get these four babies locked into place and your family will thrive. Your children will be amazing and live up to their full potential.
You’ll have joy.
Ignore the four fundamental laws…. Dismiss them… Reject them…. And you’re doomed to be crossways with a treacherous spot of ice and your reward will be misery.
Our mission is to banish misery from your life and from your family.
We are parents, just like you. We’re still figuring out stuff. We hit the ice sometimes, too. (And it hurts!!!)
But, we’ve discovered a few great principles, tested them out in our own laboratory of life, and love the results we’re seeing.
Wanna join us on this great adventure? We’d love to have you!
If you haven’t already signed up for our mailing list, then jump on board now. (Use that big button below…)
We’ll share our best insights with you… we’ll let you buy training programs and events from us… and we’ll walk with you through the journey of family life, in pursuit of Endless Family Joy.
You comin’ or what? 🙂
Joshua and Margie Boswell
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